It is funny. I have been so desperate to move from the city, so desperate to be somewhere I feel inspired and now I am here I just want to curl up on the sofa and sleep. Inspiration and motivation is limited for me right now.
The truth is I am just exhausted with it all. Exhausted with the unpacking, boxes piled high in several rooms. Exhausted with refurbishment plans, with workmen and quotes and an ever growing job list. I am exhausted with the clutter. Exhausted with parenting, crying babies, stubborn toddlers. Exhausted with Christmas - inconveniently timed this year. Exhausted with future worries, the nearing end of my maternity leave, important career choices and plans.
Sitting to write today I scanned through my draft list. Tutorial ideas I jotted down for later, projects for myself, round-ups of content I have loved. A list of blog posts waiting to be written. Posts that are shelved for a time less exhausting.
With the exception of a quick 20 minutes a few mornings ago I haven't found the time to paint for 3 weeks or more now. I find this frustrating but it's nothing new. 2015 has not been very productive for me artistically. Life feels like it has completely taken over and often got in the way. Correcting this balance is a priority for me heading into 2016 - find time among the chaos to paint again.
A good friend visited me last week. She said to me,"remember Jenna, Rome wasn't built in a day." I have heard this saying hundreds of times before but only now does it have meaning for me. I have been repeating it to myself frequently.
So once the festivities are over this week I will rest. I will watch the horses from my window and try and remain mindful. Bit by bit we as a family are moving forward through this change to where we want to be. It will take time and it is hard and exhausting but the end goal will be worth it.
Rome wasn't built in a day.